So yesterday I was on BBC Radio London being interviewed by the lovely Claira Hermit about how I got in to healing and what not. I got an email from her producer a couple of weeks ago inviting me on to the show 'The Scene with Claira Hermit', although I knew I would be really scared I immediately said yes, because I knew it was a great opportunity for me and it was out of my comfort zone, which I know is always a good thing.
One of my biggest fears is definitely public speaking. I get all self conscious and self critical when I have to speak in front of a group of people. I tend to feel nervous, my heart and breathing rate speeds up, my stomach gets in to knots and I can't get my words out properly or think straight. So you can imagine how nervous I was on the lead up to the show.
As I sat outside the studio just prior to going live on air I felt sick, I felt really hot and overwhelmed, my mouth was super dry and I was guzzling lots of water. I was even thinking of excuses to pull out at the last minute, I mean I wasn't going to, not a chance, I knew that, but part of me totally just wanted to run the fuck away.
As I made my way in to the studio and gave Claira a big hug I began to relax a teeny bit. The first few moments live on air I did feel super nervous, but I soon felt more relaxed and got in to the swing of it, I ended up actually really enjoying it! Turns out I love talking about the things I am passionate about, who knew! Much to my surprise, I was actually able to get my words out quite clearly and speak in a personable way.

So how did I make it through without allowing this big very uncomfortable fear to consume me?
First of all lets discuss what fear actually is. It is our body's response to perceived danger. When we are in a state of fear our nervous system sends sensory signals to our brain, which interprets the situation as dangerous, our brain in return sends signals back to our body instructing it to go in to fight or flight mode, which is why our heart rate speeds up, our lungs take in air faster and our body releases cortisol, a stress hormone.
So the first question you need to ask yourself is what is the perceived danger here? Really dive in to this question and explore what the fear at hand actually is. For me in this case the fear of public speaking is a fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of not being able to express myself properly. What if people hate me? What if I can't get my words out and look like a complete idiot?
Then, ask yourself is this actually true? E.g will I actually be rejected if I don't get my words out properly? Would you reject a friend if they muddled up a few words? I hope the answer is no or you may as well stop reading here haha.
Then, remind yourself why you are facing this particular fear. If the outcome is worth feeling a bit nervous and uncomfortable for a while then go forth and face your fear boo! The only way we can grow as people is to step outside of our comfort zones and face the occasional fear. For me personally the message I am trying to deliver to the world is far too important to let a few nerves get in the way.
Now the above should have helped lessen your fear, however, like I experienced prior to my interview you will inevitably still feel quite nervous right before show time. This is normal and natural, it shows that you care. The way I deal with my fear is to comfort it, I acknowledge it 100%, I treat it like a small child that needs reassurance that I am there. I usually place my hand on my ferociously beating heart and say things in my head like 'I am here for you, I've got you, you are safe'. I try to soothe it, I try to help myself feel safe, to help take my body out of fight or flight mode.
In my opinion, the worst thing you can do in the name of fear is to push it away, or pretend it does not exist. When you do this you are telling the part of you that is scared that you will ignore it. Now imagine being a small scared child and being ignored by the adults around you? Would that make you feel more or less safe? Get my point here?
So to sum this blog post up, feel the fear, acknowledge the fear, comfort the fear and do it anyway!
Here is a link to my BBC Radio London interview in case you fancy a listen, I am on at 33 minutes in to the interview....
https://tinyurl.com/bbcinterviewekilinc
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